Decision Gone Wrong
by UnheardSalvation
Summary: "You are marrying my son, Allen Walker!" He had no idea how he had gotten himself into this mess.
1. Prologue

_**Disclaimer : I don't own -Man**_

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_**Prologue**_

It was lively outside.

Curious, he walked toward the nearest window, pulling at the curtain slightly to have a peek. He could see the well decorated Christmas tree standing proudly in the park just in front of his house. Children were playing around with the snow, some even dragged their parent with them. Everyone looked so happy outside.

He smiled to himself, his eyes softening a little.

_It's Christmas_, he mumbled softly to no one. _Though I doubt he would remember it._

Shaking his head slightly, he released the slightly pulled curtain and went back to the kitchen, preparing dinner for the soon-to-be-home couple. He had set the table in a candle lit dinner set and placed two wine glass on the table, not forgetting the beautiful red rose at the middle of the table. After satisfied with his work, he stretch himself, all the while sneaking a glance at the clock on the wall.

"Guess, I'm done for today." He whispered and went up to his room. Just like everyday of his life, Allen Walker locked himself in his room for the rest of the night.

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One may complained a lot when their parent forced them to marry to a complete stranger, but this was not the case for Allen Walker. First of all, he was an orphan. His parents had abandoned him since birth. He never dare to ask his guardian about the reason why his parents abandoned him. Truth to be told, he knew the real reason why his parents abandoned him.

His left arm was disfigured.

His eye and hair color was silver.

Who would accept a freak like that as a son?

Back to the main question, his marriage was actually arranged by a random man that he saved on the street. On that day, he was just taking a walk in the town when he saw a man being robbed. He then beat the robbers up and hand back the money to the man. Since then, the man would walked up to him and talked to him every time they meet each other on the road. He soon learned that the man was named Froi Tiedoll.

And that was where everything went downhill.

His once peaceful life no longer exist as he need to save Tiedoll's money from being _rob _for a million of time. Let's put it this way, the moment Allen managed to get the robbers to return the money to Tiedoll, another robber turned up from behind and stole something else from him. He honestly had no idea how the man had been surviving all along.

Even though his once peaceful live is gone, but Allen was okay with it. After all, Tiedoll accept him for who he really are. Tiedoll never requested for him to take off his hood or gloves even when they were all alone. Somehow, it made Allen feel secure when he was with Tiedoll. Although, he _must _admit that Tiedoll worried too much for his son. Usually, Allen would just nodded his head when Tiedoll asked him about his son, Kanda Yuu.

Well, until that day, that is.

"I heard that Yuu-kun had a lover… Do you think he'll make a good son in law?"

Allen almost chocked on his cup of water. Coughing slightly, he regained his posture and stared at Tiedoll in disbelieve.

"… Pardon me for asking, but aren't your son only _17_ now?"

"Why, yes. He is 17 now." Tiedoll answered as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"And you are worried about his lover not being a good daughter in law now?" No matter how Allen looked at it, it was way too early for Tiedoll to take things too seriously. Well, at least not on this matter.

Tiedoll smiled warmly at Allen,

"Allen-kun, I said _son in law_."

"I heard you. Like I said- Wait what!?"

They stared at each other for a while, before Allen awakes from his shock.

"… Your son likes man…?" It was not a question, but a statement. Probably the wrong button to push, Tiedoll started to look gloomy.

"I, I mean, Tiedoll-san, it is not abnormal for your son to like a man…" Okay, he'll admit it. He was trying to convince himself as well.

"Really?"

"Y-Yeah."

"So its normal?"

"I guess so?"

"But what if that man was just attracted to Yuu-kun's look and tricked him into becoming his lover? Oh, my poor Yuu-kun!" Tiedoll started to weep.

"Well, erm…" How was he suppose to make Tiedoll feel better?

"That's it!" Tiedoll suddenly looked at Allen with sparkling eyes.

"Er... Tiedoll-san?" Somehow, Allen does not like where things were going.

"You are marrying my son, Allen Walker!"

"And how is that suppose to help, Tiedoll-san?!"

"Well, I trust you for turning my son straight again."

Oh, trust Tiedoll and his idea.

"Tiedoll-san, as you can see, I am a male as well."

"..."

"..."

"Allen-kun, I just need you to make sure Yuu-kun's lover is loyal to him."

"And by me marrying your son, how is that helping?"

"So that you have some power to control Yuu-kun?"

Honestly speaking, sometimes he feel like murdering Tiedoll.

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He could feel the killing intent radiating from Kanda Yuu. Pretending that he was not there, he wisely picked the cup nearest to the side of the table and drink it, hoping that this could make himself look less suspicious.

"Old man, I have Alma already. I don't need a suspicious man in my life!"

"But Yuu-kun, Allen-kun is a really good boy. You will like him!"

"What's with his hood and gloves then?! It is still summer if you didn't realize!"

"That is something personal, Kanda Yuu." Allen answered for Tiedoll and quickly went back to drink his cup of coffee when he realize he just spoke. He was planning to become an invisible man for god sake!

"Personal huh? Like I would give a fuck-"

"Language, Yuu-kun! You are marrying Allen-kun and that's final! I don't care if you still date Alma but I want Allen-kun as my official son in law!"

For the second time, Allen almost chocked himself on his coffee.

_Ah, there goes my peaceful life..._

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**TBC**

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**_A/N : Hey there! It's been a while~ Well, actually I tried to continue _Parallel World _but it didn't end up well... I was stuck there for the whole hour, facing writer's block for that story... Anyway, this story I'm not sure if I will face writer's block in the future (Probably yes but who knows?) but I'll try to prevent from making this story goes hiatus. _Parallel World _is a good enough example D8 I'm feeling guilty for it... _**

**_R&R_**

**_UnheardSalvation _  
**


	2. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer : I don't own -man**_

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_**Chapter 1**_

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He could hear the sound of laughter from the outside. Smiling to himself, he continued flipping the pages of the book on his hand as his eyes scan through the content of the book.

_Knock knock._

His actions stopped suddenly, his head slowly turned towards the door as he thought he heard a soft knock on the door.

He waited, and waited.

Time passed but the door remained closed, not a sign of opening at any moment.

"..." Silence was what filled his room.

"... I was imagining things, huh?" What was he expecting, exactly? He was not even sure himself.

He _knew_ Kanda would not wish him "Happy birthday". He never did.

"...I guess he really didn't know about it...?" Allen mumbled to himself.

_Yeah right, you guys have been living together for 3 years and he still do not know when is your birthday. Sure, Allen Walker, keep deceiving yourself._

Somehow, he was feeling a little empty on the inside.

He knew Kanda only love Alma. Alma, on the other hand, love Kanda too. They are the perfect couple together, and that was what make Allen unhappy, not that he will admit it though. Allen had no idea why was he feeling that way, but since he felt the same most of the time Kanda and Alma were in the house, he brushed it off as fatigue all the time.

Pouting slightly, he placed the book on his hand down and turned off the table light on his right before crawling into the warm blanket.

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"Allen-kun, my boy, how are you doing?"

If someone were to ask Allen if he had regret doing anything in his life, he would say that he regretted helping Tiedoll. A LOT.

Taking a deep breath as to prevent himself from bursting in anger, he answered,

"I'm fine, thanks for asking. And I do _hope_ you would stop calling me like this _everyday_." He understand that Tiedoll was just worried about him and Kanda, but this is way too much! Imagine that you wake up early in the morning _everyday_, probably 6 a.m. or sort just to prevent yourself from being stuck in an very awkward situation, namely a certain pair of couple having their sweet moment together and you were there, standing like a statue and trying your best not to interrupt them, and sometimes, a glare will be received due to your presence over there. Besides, Allen is _not _a morning person. Every time when he was feeling super annoyed and frustrated in the morning, Tiedoll would _surely _call him.

What a _great _timing.

Let me repeat something, Tiedoll does it _everyday_.

"I'm just worried about the two of you... So, how is his lover? You've been living with them for 3 years now. How is he? Is he good? Is he loyal to Yuu-kun? Is he-"

And thus, the other reason Allen regretted helping Tiedoll surfaced.

He had been asking the same question every morning for the past 3 years. It was not like he hated Tiedoll for asking... Okay maybe a little, but every time Tiedoll asked this question, he could feel something in his heart break.

"Alma's fine. Yes, he's loyal to Kanda, and yes, they are _happy _together." With that, Allen slammed the phone down to the receiver, biting his lips at the same time.

"..." What was that feeling he felt when he said "they were happy together" back then?

He could not breathe well. He could feel his lungs failing on him and as well the strong fainting spell that was threatening to take over his body all of the sudden. It was almost as if his body was shutting down by itself and refused to accept something.

But what was it that he refused to accept?

_RING!_

Oh, why can't people just leave him alone when he was feeling frustrated?!

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He had a dream.

A dream where he looks the same as other people.

His hair was brown, his eyes were hazel. Even his disfigured arm was absent.

He was playing happily with his only friend.

He could see other children around him, but none of them was willing to go near him.

No one dare to be near him, except _him_.

He never questioned why, he never care. As long as _he _was willing to play with him, it was good enough.

"Allen, it's time to go back."

Even when he refused to go back with the guard, _he _would pat his head gently, asking him to be a good boy and promised that they will play again the next day.

_He _was always there for him. For Allen, _his _existence was the only medicine to his own madness.

But one day, _he _did not show up.

Allen was a total mess that day. The guards were so mad they had beat him to the verge of death just to get Allen follow them back willingly.

He went back there on the second day, waiting for _him _once again. The guards had to do the same thing to him again at the end of the day.

Allen waited for _him_ everyday, but he never showed up anymore.

"... liar..." He cried out, not too loud for the guards to hear, but loud enough to cover his own ears from all the sounds of laughter of other children around him. He was feeling extra stressful with all the experiments they were forcing on him that day.

_What happened to our promise? Have you finally give up on me? _

Tears streamed down his cheeks, his eyes becoming more and more blurry not due to the tears, but something else.

_Have you finally decided that you can't stay by a monster's side?_

He felt a sharp pain on both his eyes, covering his eyes with palms, he felt warm liquid flowing through his fingers.

Was it his tears? If so, why could he taste the metallic taste on his "tears"?

"Damn, another failure." He could not see anything, but he felt someone pushing his chin up before commenting.

"How about we have some fun with this failure then?" He heard the other guard suggested.

Not being able to see made him sensitive in his other sense. He could feel something sharp being buried into his face, more specifically, the part above his eyebrow, before being dragged down slowly, craving a pattern on his face. It hurts. It really hurts. But he did not cry out, he held back all his screams. Even when he felt his body being torn apart from being humiliated, or when he felt his left arm being licked by the hot flames, he stayed silent.

Because he knew, he won't die from something like that, pain was just an useless stimuli to him.

Because he knew, no one would actually care for him no matter how agonizing his screams sounds like.

All along, _he _was the only one that cared.

_But he was no longer there for him._

Another pain stimuli was transmitted through his receptors to his spinal cord, forcing Allen to bit his own hand to hold back his screams.

"Oh my god, he's still alive even with all these cuts!"

"Told ya' he's not a human."

_That's not true, I'm human too! _But he was too weak to voice up.

When he finally gained back his sight, he saw his own reflection through a broken mirror beside him.

Silver hair and eyes, an disfigured arm, an ugly scar on his face...

He had changed so much since that experiment.

**_"After this experiment, there's 90% chance that his genes will change."_**

Was this what the scientist meant back then in the lab?

Tears gathering at the corner of his eyes, he started laughing.

So, this was the reason why he needed to endure those painful experiments?

His laughed increased in volume gradually.

That was probably the saddest laugh ever escaped his mouth.

He was once a human, but after every experiment he went through, his genetics changed.

If that's the case, _h__e _was actually making a good choice by leaving Allen like that.

After all, he was not a human.

Well, not anymore.

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Gasping, Allen woke up from his nightmare.

_What... was that?_

Looking around, he found out that he had fallen asleep on the couch in the afternoon after cleaning house. The clock read 1930, _Kanda and Alma were probably hungry by now, I have to prepare dinner... _

The dream felt so real, it can't be his imagination... right?

"... I must be really tired for my brain to make up this bullshit." He tried to convince himself.

But what if the dream was what really happened to him in the past?

"I say, Allen will you ever remove that hood and gloves of yours?" Snapping awake from his thoughts, he saw Alma reaching to him, trying to remove his hood. Panicked, he pushed Alma away forcefully. Alma, obviously not aware of the danger, being pushed to a side, tripping over a stool and fell down.

"Alma!"

"What the heck, moyashi?! All Alma did was asking you a question!"

"I'm really sorry! I-I"

"Why in the world are you still wearing the hood and gloves indoor?! Stop hiding like a coward and take them off!"

"...No."

"I said, _take them off_."

"You are going overboard, Kanda Yuu! I apologize for what I did to Alma but taking off my hood and gloves have nothing to do with anything!"

"Yuu, it's really okay, Allen apologized too. Let's just forge- Yuu, stop that!"

Not aware of the fact Kanda tried to pull his hood down, Allen could not do anything to prevent his hood to fall when it was too late.

Kanda and Alma had see his hair and eye colour.

"He's... He's...!" Alma was shocked to the point he could not form a proper sentence.

"I'm really sorry, but please eat outside for today." Allen ran back to his room, slamming the door closed so hard the echo could be hear from everywhere in the house.

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"I can't find it... I can't find it!" Allen yelled in frustration. He had been trying to find the necklace his parents left him since he entered his room.

In his memories, the necklace was the only thing he have from his parents. If he could find it, then he could convince himself that the nightmare was just purely a story made up by his brain cell due to fatigue, or so he hope.

He had been searching for 3 hours but the necklace was nowhere to be found.

"Alright, calm down calm down... Where did I last put it?"

He closed his eyes, concentrating on the blurry memories of the necklace.

_Wait... what does the necklace looks like again? _

The more he thought of the necklace, the more he could not remember anything about it, even the appearance of it.

_When did I even receive it? And if I did, where?_

"What's wrong with me?!" Pulling his hair hard, he tried to let the pain to overtake the feeling of fear in him.

_**"Allen, it's time to go back."**_

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

_**"We'll play again tomorrow."**_

"SHUT UP ALREADY!"

_**"It's a promise, Yuu."**_

Allen's eyes widen at the memory that slipped into his mind like a flash, only a name escaped his lips.

"Yuu...?"

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_**TBC**_

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**_A/N : So here's chapter 1~~ I'm not sure if I'm rushing a bit so do tell me if you guys feel like the story is too rush. _**

**_R&R_**

**_UnheardSalvaiton_**


	3. Chapter 2

_**Due to some misunderstanding in the last chapter, I shall clear things up here first. In the prologue, the first paragraph was actually link to the second chapter. So in d prologue, it was christmas, Allen finish preparing dinner and went back to his room. He was reading his book in his room until he think he heard a knock and blah blah blah it continues from there. The part where Tiedoll and Allen met and Tiedoll asking Allen to marry Kanda was actually flashback. It happened 3 years ago. So now here he is, 3 years later after he married Kanda. As for the dream part, Allen just suddenly dreamt of those, where he felt like "there's something wrong with my memories" so he tried to search for the necklace which he remembered it belong to his parents. And this was when he realise he might have known Kanda in the past. **_

_**I hope this clear things up. Sorry for the messy timeline / plot planing ^^lll**_

_**Disclaimer : I don't own -Man**_

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_**Chapter 2**_

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Three years.

That was how long Allen had live with them.

Personally, Alma like Allen a lot. Allen is sweet and caring to everyone, and that applies on _everyone, _which mean Alma's included. Alma could not understand why. Don't people hate those outsiders that date with their husband (even though Allen entered the picture later...)? Alma had prepare himself to be hated by Allen Walker from the very moment Kanda informed him that Allen will be living together with them, until Tiedoll decide on whose the better son-in-law. He even prepared to be slapped by Allen Walker on their first meeting. Well, at least that was how it was supposed to go in TV shows. But surprisingly, Allen treated him well.

**_"Nice to meet you, I'm Allen Walker. You must be Alma Karma."_**

A scheme, his friends told him. It was a new way to win over one's husband heart by pretending that they can accept their husband having another woman, or in this case, another man, outside. Alma would have believed in them, but Allen looked so... honest to him.

Truth to be told, he could not see Allen's facial expression at all with his hood on.

But he could sense it.

Allen's voice, his actions, his everything screamed nothing but honesty. _Allen Walker might be a excellent actor_, he carefully instructed himself as to not fall to Allen's trap.

Time pass, he was soon in dilemma.

Should he be enemies with Allen? Should he not?

Allen Walker does not seem to be the scheming type to him.

When Alma accidentally forgot about an important meeting, be it his or Kanda's, Allen would always be there, helping him and Kanda (mostly him since Kanda was being a jerk) doing the last-minute work. Even when Allen need to sacrifice his own sleeping time to do so, Allen never complained. He just silently helped them until they were finish with the work and fell asleep on the table. When they woke up in the middle of the night, they would notice a blanket carefully covering every inch of their back. Alma once dismissed it as a sweet act by Kanda, but that thought was being thrown to the back his mind when he witness what Allen secretly did for Kanda.

A client had asked to change the design immediately and Kanda was asked to hand it up on the second day. Kanda refused both his and Allen's offer on helping him, he had stayed up all night to finish the project. Before reaching the finishing design, Kanda had fall asleep on the table due to fatigue. Alma, being worry about Kanda saw Kanda falling asleep on the table. He had plan to brew a cup of coffee for Kanda, but he stopped his actions when he saw Allen walking out of his own room, a blanket on his hand. Alma hid himself carefully at a corner, watching Allen as Allen gently tucked the blanket on Kanda's back. Just when Alma thought Allen would leave, he saw Allen taking the half done design on the table, examining it curiously. Before long, Allen sat down on the other side of the table and finished it for Kanda.

When Kanda asked him if Alma had finished the design when he fell asleep on the second day, Allen who just came out from the kitchen with their breakfast lied.

_**"Yeah, I saw Alma finishing your design at the middle of the night yesterday."**_

He tried denying but Kanda did not buy it. When he threw a questioning stare at Allen, Allen just smiled at him and mouthed to him.

_**"Lets keep it a secret."**_

Why did Allen lied? He could just tell Kanda the truth, then maybe Kanda will fall in love with him. Wasn't that what Allen suppose to do?

In the end, he came up with a conclusion :

Allen Walker is just a male that is lack of self-confidence. With Kanda in the house, every male would feel that way.

The more he gave it thought, the more he thought it might happen.

Perhaps that was why Allen wear hood and gloves even when they were indoor?

"I say, Allen will you ever remove that hood and gloves of yours?" It was meant to be a friendly act. He was trying to make Allen comfortable with them and willingly took off his hood.

He never thought Allen would freak out and pushed him away.

He never thought Kanda would be so mad about it.

Never had he though that Kanda would try to remove Allen's hood by force.

However, he almost stopped breathing when he saw the hood falling backwards.

Allen's silver hair, his silver-colored eyes, it was so beautiful, so breathtaking. He was sure Kanda that was shocked at Allen's beauty as well. There was no way Allen would feel not confident with such attractive looks, and that leads him back to the another question.

If Allen's such a beauty, why was he wearing hood and gloves indoors all the time?

"Yuu... Did you see that just now?" Alma visibly flinched when the echo of the door slamming reached his eardrum. Rubbing his ears tenderly, he turned to Kanda, feeling curious that Kanda did not answer him. Kanda looked shocked, his eyes widening ever so slightly, his usual scowl was not there on his face.

"Yuu, I know Allen's attractive but you don't have to look at him like that!" Feeling a bit annoyed that Allen could make Kanda froze on the spot, he crossed his arms in front of his chest, glaring daggers at Kanda.

"... He look really familiar." Kanda sounded surprisingly gentle. Alma could hear the yearning in his voice.

"Familiar? Of course he looks familiar! He's been _here _living with us for three years!" Pissed, Alma yelled at Kanda before running back to his room in anger.

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Alma was feeling guilty.

He should not have yelled at Kanda! Kanda did nothing wrong, for a normal growing teenager, it's really normal to be stunned by a beauty's appearance, as much as he hates to admit it, it's perfectly normal!

"Alma?" Kanda voiced up.

"Uh, yeah...?"

"... I'm not really sure why you were mad at me, but I'm sorry. He just... look really familiar in my memories."

Now that caught Alma's attention.

Allen looked familiar in Kanda's memories? So Allen might be the key for Kanda's memories lost when he was small!

"You recognize him?"

"Not exactly. He looks very familiar, but nothing seems to fit the picture. I can only feel that he's familiar to my memories."

Raising his eyebrows, Alma rolled over to face Kanda.

"Then his eyes color? His eyes color is really special, can you remember anything?"

Closing his eyes and opened them again after a while, Kanda shook his head in disappointment.

"Do you think Allen know you in the past?"

"I'm not sure. But I don't remember anyone called Allen Walker... There's someone with the surname Walker, but I'm sure his given name was not Allen."

"Relatives?" Alma suggested.

Shrugging his shoulders, Kanda proceeded to hug Alma close to him.

"I'm not sure... Until now, I still can't remember what was the given name of the Walker kid. All I remember was that he has always lonely."

"Poor kid..."

They both lie in comfort for a while, closing their eyelids as sleep slowly came to them.

"Hey, Yuu? Apologize to Allen tomorrow. You should not have take off his hood without his permission."

Grunting slightly, Kanda could only agree in annoyance.

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The boy was crying again. It seems like the guards were doing a bad job babysitting the boy _again_.

**_"I don't want to go back there!"_**

As usual, the boy would run to him and hide behind him. Kanda never get why the boy likes to hide behind him when he was scared of something.

_**"Yuu, stay?"**_

As much as he likes to, he had to let the boy go back with the guards. Rumors said that those that disobey the guard or _that facility _would suffer from a terrible curse.

Not that Kanda believe in it.

Of course not.

_**"Can I stay here, with Yuu? Please?"**_

The boy always hate to return, saying that it will hurt...What was it that hurt? He tried questioning the boy secretly.

_**"It... hurts. It really hurts..."** _The boy refused to say anything more than that.

Child abuse, perhaps? The boy was always covered with bruises and cuts. He was worried for the boy. It seems like the other kids does not like the boy as well. He could not stop what happened to the boy outside the playground, but he could at least let the boy feel safe in the playground.

_**"We'll play again tomorrow."** _He promised the boy one day, making the boy to glow in happiness and obediently follow the guards back after that.

That was when the cuts and bruises turned worst. Somehow, the guards looked pleased for some reason.

He informed Tiedoll about it and Tiedoll had bravely question the guards about it. The boy was so panic when he witness Tiedoll questioning the guards.

_**"I'm so sorry, don't involve them please! You can do anything on me, just let them go!"**_

Kanda could not understand the boy's motive at all. Since then, the boy would always look tired and deadly pale when he reached the playground.

_**"You need to stop this. I don't know what they're doing to you but you're going to die if this continues!" **_

He had no idea why he had screamed at the boy that day.

_**"It's okay, Yuu. I'm... a monster, I would not die easily like that..."**_

Why was the boy calling himself a monster? And why was the guard getting so angry?

_**"...Are you going to be alright?"**_

_**"... I think so?"**_

That was the last conversation he had with the boy.

He fainted on his way back home. When he woke up, he could not remember anything.

Years passed, he managed to get back all of his memories. All except, that boy.

The boy who was always lonely, the boy that only smiles for him,

Who was he?

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_**TBC**_

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_**A/N : Enjoy your chapter two~~ **_

_**REVIEWS **_

_**yami : I'm sorry but I don't speak that language...I used google translate so I think I figure out the meaning (I think). Thanks for your support~~**_

_**Guest : Thanks a lot~ About that, you'll learn more about it in the future~**_

_**Hanashi o suru : Once again, I must thank you~ ^0^**_

_**Ern Estine 13624 : Glad you like it~**  
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_**QuietRose-13 : Thank you~ Here you go~**_

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_**R&R**_

_**UnheardSalvation**_


	4. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer : I don't own -Man**_

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_**Chapter 3**_

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"What... what is this!?"

His head was hurting, everything looked chaotic from his eyes. He placed both his hands on his head, gripping his hair tighter as he felt the pain attacking him all at once.

_**"We'll play again tomorrow."**_

___**"It's a promise, Yuu."**_

Not again! Gritting his teeth, he shut his eyes tight, focusing only on the sound of his heartbeat. He once heard that by focusing on your own heartbeat sound, you could ignore any pain inflicted on you. _Focus! Focus, damn it! _Biting his lips in frustration, he gripped his hair harder and tighter, a scream threatening to escape from his trembling lips.

_**"I'm so sorry, don't involve them please! You can do anything on me, just let them go!"**_

Every time the images in his mind got clearer, he would only feel his heart clench harder and _harder_. _  
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_**"You need to stop this. I don't know what they're doing to you but you're going to die if this continues!"**_

Noticing that the pain is slowly over taking his conscious, he quickly moved his right hand from his hair to his mouth, biting it down hard full force. Tears were slowly gathering at the corner of his eyes._  
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**_"After this experiment, there's 90% chance that his genes will change."_**

His knees went weak on him, causing him to be dragged down harshly by the heartless gravity. Strangely, the pain went away as soon as his body hit the floor. He slowly let go of his right arm that was previously forced to place in his mouth to reduce the pain he felt, allowing the trembling hand to fall to the floor slowly.

The sound of the clock ticking could be heard clearly.

Why?

Why did he not realize it sooner?

Why did he not realize that his memories was a mess all along?

He never knew his parents, because he grew up in _that facility_.

His abnormality was not from birth. It was actually a side effect of the experiments done on him when he was a child. _A 7 years old child,_ he silently added.

And the necklace... He laughed to himself.

Why would he have the necklace?

It was, after all, a necklace that will only be given when the child successfully being turned into a monster. A device to prevent the monsters from attacking their creator.

He was so close in getting one of those. He was _so close_ in becoming a monster._  
_

The scientists were having high expectations of him, saying that he would be the most powerful, the most successful, the perfect one among all. But he failed them all.

His real personality was still there even after the transformation.

He still remember the shock faces of the scientists when they found out their precious specimen, which they felt so proud in creating, was nothing but another failure.

He would laugh at them, he would send hurtful remarks to them.

But he was too immersed in sadness and grieve back then.

All he could think of back then, was how a certain friend of his breaking their promise and never came back for him.

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It was an awkward morning.

Alma and Kanda were slowly savoring their breakfast, while Allen was still in the kitchen, preparing his own breakfast.

Allen soon came out from the kitchen with his own plate of breakfast. His hood and gloves were on as usual. However, instead of the smile on his face, it looked more like a tiredly forced smile that morning.

Kicking at Kanda's chair, Alma stares at Kanda, relaying his message to his mate silently while finishing his breakfast.

_Allen's here. Apologize._

Kanda stared back in annoyance, _Do I have to?_

_Yes, it was your fault. Say sorry to him._

Growling, Kanda opened his mouth to speak, only to be interrupt by Allen himself.

"I... I am really sorry about yesterday, Alma. I understand that both of you feel disgusted with my appearance... I will not complain if both of you want me out of the house. As for Tiedoll... I'll figure out something."

"No, Allen! We want you here!" Alma stood up suddenly, scaring Allen as he did so.

"Yuu was really sorry about yesterday, he didn't mean to!" Alma said to Allen, scared that Allen would really leave the house.

"... Really?" Allen slowly turned to Kanda, after receiving a nod from Kanda, Allen continued,

"Both of you don't find me disturbing...?"

"Why would we find you disturbing?"

"My eyes and hair color! And my scar!"

Alma and Kanda stared at each other a while, before turning to Allen with the same questioning stare.

"What scar?"

Allen felt like slapping himself. _Oh, me and my big mouth. Now they're really find me disturbing after looking at my scar. Fantastic. _He scolded himself mentally.

"Allen, you looked beautiful. Though we did not see any scar..."

"Beautiful is a term for woman, Alma."

"Then you describe him, Yuu!"

"..."

"See that!? There's no other words that can describe him."

Allen, at the moment, was considering if he should just walk up to his room and leave the two love birds there arguing among themselves.

"Like I say, Yuu, there's no other word that can describe Allen perfectl- Allen! Where do you think you're going?"

Allen froze in his phase, _maybe I should have walked faster._

"I'm going back to my room?"

"You told us about the scar..."

"Yeah?" He knew it! He knew he should just kept quiet about his scar!

"Show it to us?" It was Kanda who voiced out the request.

.

_**"...Are you going to be alright?"**_

_**"... I think so?"**_

.

Alright, guess he was really tired. Why was he thinking that Kanda Yuu as Yuu...

_Hold on a second! __Kanda Yuu?_

_..._

_They can't be the same person... right?_

"Allen?" Noticing Allen's stare on Kanda, Alma tried calling out to him.

"Huh? Oh, yeah?"

"Are you alright?" Even Kanda was getting curious on Allen's behavior.

"Just a little tired?" Even Allen was not convinced by his own reply.

Pulling Allen gently, Alma set him down on the sofa, allowing Allen to lay down and rest a while.

"Say, Allen. Does Yuu looks familiar to you?"

Truth to be told, Allen was not sure about that too. Kanda might be Yuu from the past. If that was the case, then why couldn't he remember Kanda when they first met? Or when he met Tiedoll?

That's right! Why did he remember nothing even when he bumped into Tiedoll three years ago? Tiedoll might not remember him due to his different appearance but he should be able to recognize Tiedoll and Yuu!

"I'm... not sure. Kanda has the same name as my childhood friend, but I can't confirm if he was _him_."

"Maybe you can describe him to us?" Alma plead.

_Describing him?_

"He's a bastard for leaving me behind like that."

.

.

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.

It was starting again. How long was he suppose to endure all this?

"Again."

"Sir, once more and the child will-"

"I said, _again_."

The pain started again. Yet no screams could be heard. Had he turned deaf? Or had he lose the ability to talk?

"Sir, this is too much for a child to handle! We are losing him!"

"... Stop the experiments for today."

"Thank you, sir!"

He could feel the guards releasing him from the binds, allowing him to get away from the blood-covered room. He could hardly walk, his body felt so weak.

He took his time, dragging his body to the outside. His hazel eyes was failing him, he knew, he could no longer see clearly.

It seems like his eyes were damage from all the experiments too.

He sat by the sand, his hands lifelessly playing with the sand, with his eyes staring at somewhere far away.

_One day, I'll get out of there. One day._

"Why are you alone here?"

Even with his blurry eyesight, he could sense the guards tensing up when the boy in front of him talked to him.

"I'm Yuu. What's your name?"

He felt like ignoring the boy in front of him, but that would be rude... What should he do? Besides, he always wanted a friend...

"...Walker" Deciding to give in, he spoke softly.

"My name is Neah Walker."

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"Sir? You said to stop all experiments on him today-"

"Start it now."

"Sir?!"

"His original personality is still there! Neah Walker still exist in that body!"

Perhaps it was a mistake to talk to Yuu.

"I want Neah Walker to disappear from this body! You get me?! I WANT IT GONE!"

But he never regretted meeting Yuu.

.

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"Your name is Allen Walker, child. Not Neah Walker."

Why was everyone changing his name? Well, not like he care, he still get to see Yuu.

And that was all he need.

As long as Yuu is there for him, he'll live.

Not as Allen Walker, but as his real self, Neah Walker.

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"Allen, it's time to go back."

"I don't want to go back there!"

He ran to hide behind Yuu, hoping that Yuu would somehow make the guard go away.

"Neah, be a good boy and go back with them?" Yuu gently patted his head.

"Can I stay here, with Yuu? Please?" He started begging. He could feel that something was wrong with everyone in the facility. It was a suicidal act for him to go back.

"Why do you want to stay with me?"

"It... hurts. It really hurts..."

"What hurts?"

He could not find the words to tell Yuu about the experiments he had been forced to go through.

Yuu looked at him, sighing to himself,

"We'll play again tomorrow."

"Really...?" His eyes shone in hope.

Did Yuu just promised him something?

"Yeah."

Smiling cheerfully, he nodded.

"It's a promise, Yuu."

He could feel the guards getting angry about something, but who cares?

As long as Yuu's there by his side, though not physically, he will be alright.

He will endure all those painful experiments.

He will stay alive.

Isn't that good enough?

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_**TBC**_

* * *

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_**A/N : Lets see... the paragraphs after Allen said "He's a bastard for leaving me behind like this" are all what happened in the past. Just in case you guys got confused... ^^**_

_**REVIEWS  
**_

_**Yami : I'm sorry but I really don't speak that language... **_

_**Guest : There you go~**_

_**Ern Estine 13624 : Thanks a lot for reviewing~ Here you go~**_

_**iulianag71 : Yes, I speak English. It's okay, your English is good too :D As for your question, I'm not really sure if this story will turns up in to a long story like "Nightmare" (that was like, 20 chapters...) Most probably 10 chapters I'm guessing? **_

_**farryss : Here you go~**_

_**.**_

_**R&R**_

_**UnheardSalvation **_


	5. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer : I don't own -Man**_

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* * *

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_**Chapter 4**_

_**.**_

"He's a bastard for leaving me behind like that." Instead of anger, the sentence was full with hatred, betrayal and grieve. Allen hated _him_ for leaving him all alone when he really need _him _by his side. Allen hated Yuu for appearing in his life and later disappeared without a trace.

Yet, he still yearned for him.

He wanted to see him once more. He wanted to give Yuu a chance to explain himself.

"Allen, would you mind telling us more about him?" Alma asked patiently.

"..." The more he think about it, the more Kanda looked like Yuu. Perhaps he should tell them about Yuu and watch Kanda's reaction?

"Allen?"

"He was the only kid that would play with me. He was the only one that cared for me. He was always there when I went to the playground."

It started raining at the outside.

"He was always there, be it a rainy day or a sunny day. Even though he came late sometimes but he will still be there at the end of the day. We would play until the guard- I mean, our parents came to get us." Lying smoothly about the presence of the guards, he told Kanda and Alma his childhood life, of course without including _the facility _and the guards, smiling as he remembered the good old times.

He could hear the thunder outside the house clearly. The mood in the house changed as soon the second thunder stroke through the sky, lightning a sudden flash of light to the surrounding.

"One day, he stopped coming."

The rain got heavier and heavier.

"He left me alone to deal with those, those... painful things. Don't ask me what is it. I'm not going to tell you." Noticing Kanda's gesture in questioning him, he quickly interrupted him.

"It was okay at the beginning, just that I feel more empty than usual without him. At least, that was what I thought I felt."

He could still remembered his chaotic inner mind every time he gave into the madness in himself.

"It felt worse as time passed."

Looking up for the first time since he sat down on the sofa, he watched Kanda's reaction.

"I won't tell you what it was specifically. All I can tell you now is that I lost something precious to me in the end."

He stared at Kanda a while before looking down slowly.

_If Kanda is Yuu, he should know at least half of it... Guess it's not Kanda then?_

Sighing mentally in disappointment, he took a sip of the cup of warm water on the table.

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_~~THE PAST~~_

"Allen, be a good boy and come here."

He shook his head hard, his hand gripping onto the white sheet beneath him tightly. Why is the amount of experiment increasing? Are they trying to tire him out? _Are they trying to stop Yuu and I from meeting? _

"Allen, come here."

The scientist looked mad about something too.

"Allen Walker. Come here this instant."

He remained stationary in his position, refusing to get near to the scientists.

"Guards! Drag him out by force!"

Something was going wrong somewhere.

Not only the numbers of experiment done on him were increasing, the methods used on operating him changed into a more bloody way. They started to cut him open without injecting any medicine into him before hand.

Somehow, he could survive all the experiments. Perhaps it was because he knew that Yuu would be waiting for him outside after the experiments.

The scientists had secretly start to refer him as "monster" due to his special case of not dying even when the surviving chances were less than 1%.

Being a 7 years old innocent child he was, he starting to believe in the scientist.

Perhaps, he was not human.

Perhaps, he was indeed a monster.

"Answer me, who are you?"

"... Neah... Wal...Walker..."

"AGAIN!"

Every time he said his real name, the experiments would repeat until he admit that he was "Allen Walker".

Before long, he learned to lie about his identity. Yuu was the only one calling him "Neah" since then.

What was the point of changing him into "Allen Walker" when he was actually "Neah Walker"? Was the question he would ask himself everyday.

He wanted to ask. He wanted to know.

But he was too scared of the consequences.

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.

.

"I'm so sorry, don't involve them please! You can do anything on me, just let them go!"

He knew that he was digging his own grave, but what could he do? Allow them to catch Yuu as the next test subject?

No, that was something he'll never allow.

Leverrier had asked for his presence that night.

"Sir, the things you asked for." presenting a box to Leverrier, the guard walked out of the room in hurry.

_No, bring me out with you. Don't leave me here with this manic!_

"Well well, Allen. You were such a bad child."

Leverrier was looking at him gently, but all he could feel from the man was chills.

"And a bad child should be punished."

He forgotten how many times he had been tortured that night.

His nails were pulled out with sharp needles penetrating into his flesh from the tip of his fingers. His body was a bloody mess. It was not a description, mind you. Every inch of his body was covered in blood. Apparently, Leverrier had whipped him with a whip equipped with sharp small blades on the side.

"Allen, don't act like Neah. He's bad, you're good."

But he is Neah!

"Neah's dead and you're not."

The one dead was Allen, not him!

"Your brother died because he was a bad child."

He wanted to laugh at the man before him so badly.

Die because he was a bad child? What a joke.

Leverrier was the one killed Allen!

"So, please. Be a good child, Allen."

_Stop bull-shitting already!_

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"You need to stop this. I don't know what they're doing to you but you're going to die if this continues!"

He knew that too.

"It's okay, Yuu. I'm... a monster, I would not die easily like that..."

It was a lie, of course. He will die of all the experiments they did on him one day.

_He will die as Allen Walker, not Neah Walker._

"...Are you going to be alright?"

"... I think so?"

What could he say? "No, I'm not going to be alright 'cause I can die anytime"?

Not to mention how Leverrier trying to be closer to him every night. He felt sick, with how the man treating him as his brother and not him. The man would even touch him everywhere when he feel like it. May I repeat, Neah was only 7 years old? Okay, he's turning 8 in the next month, but still?

He was still a child! Was that not what people call pedophilia?

"Its okay... I'm meeting Yuu tomorrow, everything will be better tomorrow."

But Yuu never appear in the playground anymore.

It was only a matter of time before Neah went out of control. His facade fades off before he knew it.

"I'M NEAH WALKER DAMN IT!"

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"After this experiment, there's 90% chance that his genes will change."

He could feel the scientists doing something to his body, his head, his eyes- his everything.

When he woke up, he found out that he still looked the same.

But he knew it well.

Something within him change.

.

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.

Due to the latest experiment done on him, which he could not figure out the side effects or sort, he was feeling extra stressful that day.

He cried for the absent of his only friend, his sight blurred up and soon all he could see was only darkness.

"Damn, another failure."

_Huh?_

"How about we have some fun with this failure then?"

Was it that time, something triggered the effect of the latest experiment on him?

.

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.

.

When he finally gained his sight back, it was hell for him.

Silver hair and eyes, was that not Allen's?

His face,

it was no longer Neah Walker's.

"Oh god, no..."

But Allen Walker's.

The only difference was that he had a disfigured arm and an ugly scar on his face while the real Allen does not.

Is he... still considered as a human?

Living under someone else's name, body and even appearance.

Does Neah Walker even exist now?

Perhaps, just perhaps.

He was no longer human.

_To think that the scientists were right about me being a monster..._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

**TBC**

* * *

**A/N : So this chapter is more like a "Allen's background in the story (2/3 complete)". The remaining 1/3 shall be in the future chapters. Now is still not the time :P So yeah, until this chapter, you guys will realize that the term "monster" does not really refer to the "monster" we all assume, but in the way of "inhuman". **

_**REVIEWS**_

_****__**Ern Estine 13624 : Thanks a lot for reviewing~**_

_**Hanashi o suru : thanks a lot~~~ and you now know why they did not change the surname~~~ CAUSE NEAH AND ALLEN ARE BOTH BROTHERS. So, Neah is kinda like a replacement for the Allen that die in Leverrier's eyes.**_

_**DiavolSange : Thanks a lot for reviewing~~**_

_**iulianag71 : Thanks for the compliment~ ^0^ Oh, hope you enjoy Nightmare~~ It's one of the stories that I'm proud of writing it~~ Though the grammar of that story... Ahahaha...ha...ha... Okay, I'll find the time to fix the grammar... if I remember...**_

_**.**_

_**R&R**_

_**UnheardSalvation**_


	6. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer : I don't own -Man**_

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_**Chapter 5**_

_**.**_

"Yuu, he's here again." Alma whispered to Kanda, alerting Kanda about the man standing under the tree behind them.

It was not the first day the man stared at them the whole lunch hour. Honestly speaking, Alma was starting to get the chills from being stared at. At first, Alma thought that he was just being paranoid, but when Kanda mentioned to him about a man staring at them during lunch hour, he knew that the chills he'd been receiving were not his imagination after all. To make it worst, they would spot the same man appearing somewhere near their house every time they were on their way back home. He would lean against the trunk of a shady tree just in front of their house, smoking and staring into space for a while before leaving.

Kanda stole a glance towards the man from the corner of his eyes, panic building up from the inside as time passed. _Why is he following us today?!_

Alma, noticing the current situation, gulped nervously. His hand gripping at Kanda's sleeve tight unconsciously.

_RING!_

The man stopped his track and looked down to his cellphone, eyebrows narrowing slightly in the middle. Kanda took the chance to pulled Alma into a dark alley with him. They stayed at the dark alley until the man left. When Kanda make sure that the man had gone far enough to not catch their presence, he guided Alma out of the alley. Feeling insecure, Alma insisted on returning home immediately.

"Welcome back, both of you are really early today." Allen greeted them at the door.

"Allen, you can't believe what just happen-" Alma gasped while he spoke, only stopping when he saw who else was in their house.

"Moyashi, who's that?" Kanda gritted through his teeth, trying his best not to lace the question with anger.

"Oh, he's a friend." Not getting why Kanda was getting mad, Allen replied while staring at Kanda with a weird look.

Inside the house, was the very same man who had stalked Kanda and Alma.

The man stared at them, grinning as he did so.

"Hey there. Tyki Mikk at your service."

.

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"Oh, so you were staring at us just there to see if we are related to Allen?" Tyki had stayed for dinner, mush to Kanda's dismay, and was busy answering every question Alma asked. Kanda sat beside Alma, drinking the freshly brewed coffee Allen made for him, his ears twitching slightly as he listen to Tyki's answer to all Alma's question.

For at least half an hour, Alma chatted with Tyki, well mostly asking him questions about Allen's past, hoping to gain more details on what happened in the past.

"Tyki, How long have you know Allen?"

"Since he started living in the same place I did."

"Then, do you know what happened to him in the past?"

"... What did Allen said about this?" Tyki seemed troubled by something, but he quickly covered it up with a bite on the apple slices Allen served.

"Allen just said that he had a friend that left him behind and that he lost something precious to him."

"True, that was what happened." Nodding his head with approval, he placed another apple slice into his mouth.

"What I meant was... the full detail of what happened."

"Oh that. Ask him yourself."

"But he won't say a thing!"

Tyki shrugged his shoulders, "Too bad then."

Finishing the last piece of apple slice on the plate, he stood up and reached for the door.

"I'm going back home now, Allen. Nice meeting your lovely family."

"I'll send you out." Allen put down the clean plates before catching up to Tyki.

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"Let's part ways here. The bus should arrive in a minute. Would you stop staring at me like that. _Please_."

Blushing at Tyki's remarks, Allen looked to the ground quickly.

"What's wrong?"

Allen was silent for a while.

"Tyki, do you think I should...show them my scar?"

Tyki was taken aback by his question.

"They didn't know about it?"

Shaking his head, Allen looked at tyki with a troubled expression. "I wore make up to cover up my scar all the time."

"How about your hair and eye color?"

"I used to wear hood, but they saw it when Kanda tried to remove my hood..."

"He what!?"

"It was a misunderstanding! Its okay now..."

"Of course it's okay _now, _you were not wearing your hood inside the house just now. Then, your arm? Do they know about it?"

"... That's why I'm asking you! Should I show them? Both my arm and my scar, I mean."

"...I don't know, Allen. I really don't know. But if you show it to them, they will involve themselves with what's coming."

Once again, they fell into a silence embrace.

Before long, the bus arrived, Tyki climbed into the bus after whispering something to Allen. Allen's silver eyes widen in fear under his hood. The bus drove away, leaving Allen behind at the bus stop.

He should go home, he know.

But he was afraid.

_"Sources said that Leverrier found out you're here."_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_~The Past~_

"I'm getting you out of here, child."

He saw one of the scientist freeing him from the bonds. Why? Was it time for the next experiment? No, wait. It looked different somehow.

Why was the scientist panicking?

"Stop him! He's releasing Allen Walker!"

"Shit! Child, follow me!" The scientist had pulled him by his hand, leading him out of the building.

Were they escaping? But why? He had long surrender his life to the facility, so why was there someone bringing him out of the facility? He should be scared of the scientist dragging him out against his will, not like he was actually struggling though... But he could not feel any fear when he saw the bright world outside beckoning him to join. He was feeling... excited to go to the outside world?

The scientist was panting hard after dragging Neah out of the facility, he rest against the wall of a building, regaining his breath before gesturing Neah to follow him.

What was happening? Neah knew he should go back to the facility, go back to _Leverrier, _since that was where he truly belong. At least, that was what Leverrier told him.

"Child?" Noticing the child's hesitation, Mana smiled a warm smile to Neah.

"The bad guys are gone now, let's leave that living hell together."

Something must have gone wrong inside of him. Why are there salty water flowing out of his eye?

Mana proceed to hug him tightly from the front,

"You are free now, _Neah Walker._"

What did the scientist called him? Neah Walker? Wasn't his name "Allen Walker"?

.

_**"I'M NEAH WALKER DAMN IT!"**_

_**.**_

Why was he feeling warm and relieved when the scientist called him "Neah"? It was almost as if... He missed being called "Neah Walker."

_That's right. My name is Neah Walker, why did I keep referring myself as Allen Walker?_

"They did something to your memory, but its okay. You'll remember everything soon, Neah."

The salty water increases in volume, what was happening?

_Are these... tears? I'm... crying? I'm sad? But I'm feeling happy? Though I don't really understand why?_

"Welcome back, Neah."

_Why am I crying in happiness?_

.

.

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.

Just as Mana said, he started remembering. Not everything, but halfway there. He could never figure out who was it when he looked at his own reflection.

"Hey, who are you?" He asked his reflection one day.

"Who are you?!" He was Neah Walker, that, he was sure of it. But who was that in the mirror? Why was the boy having the same appearance as Allen?

"That's you, Neah." Looking to his side, he saw Tyki looking at him, worried.

"But I don't look like this... This is Allen's face, Allen's eyes, Allen's hair...!"

"This is how you look now, Neah."

"...Tyki? Who am I?"

"Neah Walker, of course. What kind of stupid question was that?"

"Are you sure?"

"... Mana said your real name was Neah Walker but Leverrier kept on making you believe that your name was "Allen Walker"."

"Am I really... Neah?" It was no good. He was panicking again.

_No, hold it down. Hold. It. Down. _

"Neah?"

_But who was Neah? If I am Neah, how should I act like? _

"Hey, Tyki, tell me. What is Neah Walker like?"

Was he really Neah Walker at this point?

"Tell me, please. Am I Neah Walker or Allen Walker now?"

Or had he loss his real personality forever?

.

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_**TBC**_

* * *

_**A/N : Dun dun dun dun! Trouble(s) incoming! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter too :D**_

_**Reviews  
**_

_**Shin-kai Syndrome : Thanks for the compliment~~ \^0^/**_

_**yami : Thanks for commenting ;)**_

_**iulianag71 : Thanks a lot for the compliments~ Hope you enjoy this chapter too~**_

_**DiavolSange : Yeah, poor Allen TAT (BUT THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT YULLEN! BITTERSWEET LOVE XD ) **_

_**Firediva0 :Thanks~~ Here you go~**_

_****__****__**Ern Estine 13624 : Thanks a lot for reviewing~**_

_**Hanashi o suru : Ahahahaha... Probably a lot...? ^ ^ lll ('cause a certain authoress is a bloody sadist) I hope you enjoy this chapter~~ ^0^ **_

_**.**_

_**R&R**_

_**UnheardSalvation**_


	7. Chapter 6

_**Disclaimer : I don't own -Man**_

_**.**_

* * *

.

**_Chapter 6_**

**_._**

Allen Walker sat on his bed silently. His head hanging slightly downwards, causing his bangs to cover his eyes.

**_"Sources said that Leverrier found out you're here."_**

His fist buried into the mattress, teeth biting down his lips hard.

What should he do? What could he do?

The more he thought about it, the more he felt stress up. Unconsciously, his hands were raised up, fingers gripping his own silver hair tight.

_What should I do? _Those words kept repeating by itself in his mind like a mantra.

His body was trembling in fear, his eyes wide as he stares at the cold ground. He could tears gathering at the corner of his eyes.

_What can I do?!_

Muffled sobs filled the silent room.

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Something felt out-of-place.

Kanda opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling with a bored look. His eyes slowly move left and right trying to find what was it that was bothering him all the while not waking Alma who was just sleeping beside him.

Everything looked normal. Nothing was wrong, so what was that feeling he felt?

"Hm... Yuu? What's wrong?" Alma opened his tired eyes lazily, staring at Kanda curiously. Kanda placed his palm on Alma's head, petting his head gently as he coaxed Alma back to sleep. After seconds of petting, Alma once again drifted back to dreamland.

Just as he gave up on trying to figure out what was bothering him mentally, he felt it again. A nagging pulse that was attracting to stay awake, to _do something_. The feeling slowly grow in amount, soon it consumed Kanda whole from the inside. He knew he had to do something to stop the feeling, but what was it that he need to do?

Shutting his eyes in annoyance, he forced the nagging feeling to the back of his head.

_It will go away. _He said to himself.

Oh, how wrong he was.

When the alarm clock started screaming at the top of its lungs, Kanda _almost_ smashed it into pieces.

He could not sleep. At all.

"Yuu, are you alright...? Do you need more sleep?" He heard Alma asking him in a worried tone beside him. Glaring at the mirror in front of him, he scowled at his reflection.

If the nagging feeling was nothing but an illusion of his, he would really kill someone. Seriously.

Not that he wished anything bad to happen, but to think that it was so annoying to the point he was being pulled awake from his dreamland forcefully every time he thought he could _finally _get some sleep.

He breathed a deep breath, hoping to calm his senses down.

Nope, it was not working.

_I feel like murdering someone._

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"Allen, can you believe it?! Yuu could not sleep last night... Allen?"

Alma walked to the side door and glanced outside, finding for a certain silver-haired teen.

"...Allen?" Panic was rising in him, he quickly walked around the house, hoping to catch a glimpse of a certain currently missing in action silver-haired teen. Before long, he reached the door to the room of Allen Walker.

"Calm down, maybe Allen overslept today..." He gathered his courage, placing his palm on the handle of the door, pushing it down in clockwise direction and push.

"Allen...?"

What answered him was an empty room.

A piece of paper was left alone on the table.

"Alma, what are you doing in front of moyashi's room?"

His shoulder started shaking as he slowly turned to face his lover.

"He's not here, Yuu. He's... gone."

"Who's gone?"

"Allen."

It's back, the nagging feeling in his heart.

But it was way stronger than last night.

Alma hugged his hand tightly while burying his face into Kanda's side.

"Allen's gone, Yuu."

Holding Alma by his side, Kanda stepped into Allen's room.

It was the first time he stepped into Allen's room, even though they had been married for 3 years, he never once entered Allen's room. The white bed sheet, the light blue colored curtains, the neat table at the side - everything was so new to him.

He looked around, inspecting the room with Alma still clinging to his hand. It was then that he saw the piece of paper on the table. He walked towards the table and picked up the paper.

_I'm sorry. Good bye._

He heard Alma gasping loudly before breaking down beside him.

Something was wrong.

Really, really wrong.

He could feel his heart shattering into tiny pieces, the nagging feeling now turned into something else that he could not point out. It was new to him, but at the same time, it felt familiar, almost as if he had felt it before in the past.

He should be sad, just like Alma, or maybe, happy that Allen was gone.

But why was he feeling something else inside him?

.

_**"...Are you going to be alright?"**_

_**"... I think so?"**_

.

Ah, that's right.

It was back then when the child answered him in monotone.

He was mad at the child for surrendering his life to _them. _He could not remember who was it that he was referring to when he mentioned _them_, all he knew was that _they_ were doing something terrible to the child.

He was mad.

So does that mean he was mad at Allen now?

But why?

Why was he feeling helpless and despair that Allen left?

.

.

.

.

.

"Yuu, what happened to Allen-kun?! He wasn't answering my calls! Did both of you get into a fight?"

Apparently, Tiedoll had received a message from Allen saying that he was sorry early in the morning. Shocked, Tiedoll rushed to Kanda's house all the way from another town. As he reached the house, he saw Alma and Kanda in a depressing mood. Alma told Tiedoll what happened while sobbing, Kanda was just staring into space the whole time.

"So, there's this Tyki guy that followed both of you and he turned up to be a friend of Allen?"

A nod was received.

"When you asked Tyki about Allen's past, he refused to tell you anything?"

Once again, Tiedoll was answered by a nod.

"Are you doubting Tyki, Tiedoll-san?" Alma asked weakly.

"Well, he was the last person that was in contact with Allen-kun before he went missing, am I right?"

"Your point, old man?"

"This Tyki guy must have told Allen-kun something to make him avoid both of you."

Kanda nodded slightly, considering the fact Tiedoll stated.

"Hey Yuu-kun, do you ever think that Allen-kun looks familiar?"

That took Kanda by surpirse, he snapped his head to face Tiedoll at the next second.

"I'm taking that as a yes then. Hm... where had I met Allen-kun before 3 years ago? He looked really familiar, yet at the same time, he looked like a stranger." Tiedoll stated with a thinking posture.

"Actually, Yuu did mentioned that Allen looked familiar, but nothing fits the picture." Alma commented softly.

"..." Tiedoll reached inside him back pack and took out a thick book. He flipped the pages again and again until he reached a page.

"I'm not really sure, but do you think Allen-kun looks like this boy?" Tiedoll pointed to a boy in the picture. The boy's hair was so brown, making the boy looked almost Asian. But the hazel eyes tell otherwise.

"Nope."

"...Yes."

Alma turned to Kanda with a weird look.

"But Yuu, Allen and this child looks totally different."

"That was what I've thought. They looked different, but they looked the same at the same time."

"This is not making any sense, Yuu."

"I have to agree with Yuu-kun on this."

"B-but they really look different..."

"Do you remember this child's name, Yuu-kun?"

Kanda stared at the picture once again. His eyes narrowed as he concentrated on his memories.

.

_**"...Walker. My name is Neah Walker."**_

_**.**_

"... Neah Walker. That's right, his name was Neah Walker!" Kanda exclaimed suddenly, shocking Alma and Tiedoll.

"Huh, who's Neah Walker?"

"This child as well as the child that was in my memories."

"Walker? Could he be related to Allen-kun?"

"No, I remembered Neah told me he was the only one left. His brother died before I met him."

"Who was his brother?"

"I can't remember. But Neah did mention that his brother had the most beautiful silver-colored hair and eyes."

"...Yuu-kun, you do realise you just describe Allen, right?"

"... But that was what Neah said."

"..."

Just when Alma wanted to speak up, they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Outside the door, stood a man with a fierce expression on his face.

"Sir, according to this note, it said that Allen Walker was spotted here."

Nodding, the man waited patiently for the door to be opened.

When Alma opened the door, the man looked disappointed and took out an A4 size paper, showing it to Alma.

"Did you see him?"

Alma studied the boy in the A4 picture. It was a younger version of Allen!

_What does this pedophile looking man want with Allen?_

"Er... no. I'm sorry."

The man looked depressed. He took out a name card and passed it to Alma.

"Thank you. If you come across with this boy, please do contact me."

With that, he left.

"What was that, Alma-kun?"

"A pedophile looking man was looking for Allen. I lied, saying that I never see Allen here. He gave me this card and left."

"Weirdo." Kanda commented harshly.

Flipping the name card on his hand, Alma tried reading the name printed on the card.

"Malcom Leverrier."

.

_**TBC**_

_**.**_

* * *

.

_**A/N : Sorry for the late update. Something was wrong with my wifi... so I am currently using the family laptop to write this chapter. (Everyone's asleep now) And er, enjoy?**_

_**REVIEWS**_

_**abattles2 : Here's a new chapter for you~**_**  
**

_**Guest : Kanda is remembering, but it will be hard since Allen look different now. ^^**_

_**DiavolSange : Thanks for liking this fic~~**_

_**Akkira Nala : Here's a new chapter for you~**_

_**Ern Estine 13624 : Thanks for reviewing~**_

_**Firediva0 : HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY~~~! I'm so sorry I could not update last week QAQ**_

_**iulianag71 : Here's the new chapter~**_

_**CloudCarnivore : Thanks for liking this fic~~**_

_**Hanashi o suru : I meant myself ^^ lol And thanks a lot for reviewing, it made me really happy~ \ ~ /**_

_**.**_

_**R&R**_

_**UnheardSalvation**_


	8. Chapter 7

_**Disclaimer : I don't own -Man**_

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**Chapter 7**_

_**.**_

He needed a place to clear his mind.

Without any second thoughts, he had packed his bag pack and put on a hood before getting out of the house. He did not know where his legs were bringing him.

He did not care where he was heading. He just needed to think.

"...Who is it, this late at night- Allen?"

Before he realized, he had walked back to Tyki's house. Tyki was looking at him with a disbelieving look, truthfully-speaking, he was shocked too. To think that he actually walked all the way to Tyki's house by leg...

"What the heck... Never mind, come in first."

He'll probably never hear the end of it on the next day if he stepped inside, but he still do so.

The door closed behind his back with a heavy sound.

.

.

.

.

.

"You are a _genius_, Allen Walker."

Allen slowly turned his head to the door, his eyes glaring slightly at Tyki who was standing at the door. Pissed, he switched his attention back to the black marbles on the table. Touching the surface of the marbles slowly, he let himself drown in the smoothness of the cold marbles.

"Like seriously. You could even beat the great Sherlock Holmes with that _smart_ brain of yours." Tyki Mikk rested his back against the door frame, his hands crossing over each other in front of his chest. It was pretty obvious that his sentence was full of sarcasm.

"...Shut up." Maybe coming here was a bad choice.

He forgot that Tyki could be annoying as well when he wanted to.

"If you are trying to run away from the problem, you're doing a poor job, Allen _dear._"

Allen pushed one of the marbles softly, allowing it to roll around the table. Or in other words, he was pretending not to listen to Tyki.

"Ignoring me, huh? So do tell me," Tyki closed the door behind him and walked towards the bed before lying on it. Staring at Allen's figure on the chair, he continued.

"Who am I speaking to now? Allen or Neah?"

He saw the small back flinched slightly at the question.

"Well?"

"... I don't know."

"What do you not know?"

"Allen would answer every of your question, Neah might not. I should answer your questions as Allen, but I don't want to."

Turning his body to face Tyki, Allen asked,

"So am I Allen or Neah now?"

He pushed himself up into a sitting position and made himself in a comfortable position on Allen's bed.

"Does it even matter? You're Neah, but you have Allen's heart and personality in you. So you're kind of a mixture of both."

"Then why do you even bother asking?"

"'Cause you were denying the truth again."

"I was not!"

"Why would you even thought about that question seriously if you had truly accepted the truth?"

"I-"

"Leverrier might have found you. But that does not mean you have to turn back into _that _Allen to please him. Just be yourself."

A rolling marble fell to the floor, followed by the others. The room was soon filled with sound of marbles in contact with the wooden floor.

"It will be a pain in the ass once Leverrier find out that you're still alive, I know. But that's not the main point here. So why?"

His golden eyes narrowed into slits.

"The real reason you panicked and ran away from that family of yours. What is it?"

He saw Allen starting to tremble. It was not obvious, but his sharp eyes caught it all.

He knew Allen too well.

"What were you truly afraid of?"

.

.

.

.

.

"Malcom Leverrier?" Tiedoll asked Alma.

"Malcom Leverrier." Not really understanding Tiedoll's question, Alma repeated the name printed on the card.

"... Why is he here?"

"Who?" Kanda stared at his father curiously.

"Leverrier. The one controlling _that _facility?"

"What the heck is _he_ doing here?" Now it was Kanda's turn to be surprise.

"Wait, what's happening now?" The clueless Alma stared at the two men in front of him with a dumb look, slightly irritated that he was being left out.

"Malcom Leverrier, the man who runs a facility where he did experiments on children." Tiedoll explained to the lost Alma.

"Experiment? On children? That's crazy."

"Exactly, rumors said that none of the children lived." Kanda added.

"...How does the two of you know about this?"

"Before Yuu-kun and I move here, we stayed in that area where Leverrier actively captured children to do experiments on them."

"I see... So why is he here?"

"That was my question, Alma."

"I think the weirdest part was actually Leverrier searching for Allen-kun."

It took about several minutes before Alma and Kanda realized what slipped through their mind.

"Why is that pervert looking for Allen?!" Alma almost screamed at Tiedoll.

"Yuu, why do you think that man was looking for Allen- Yuu?"

Kanda was in a frozen state.

"Yuu-kun?"

"Neah... He was always covered with bruise and cuts."

"I remember that, Yuu. I scolded the his house servants about it."

"No, now that I think about it, those men does not looked like servants at all. More like... guards."

Tiedoll finally caught on what's on Kanda's mind.

"...You think that Neah might be one of the children caught by Leverrier?"

"...Possibly."

"Was that why you lost your memories back then? Did those guards do something to you?"

.

_**"You need to stop this. I don't know what they're doing to you but you're going to die if this continues!" **_

_._

He remembered that he had shouted at Neah. On his way home, he was caught by someone. He felt something penetrated into the back of neck. He struggled against it but someone was holding him down firmly. He could feel liquid injected into his neck. Before long, he lost conscious.

What happened next?

.

_**"...Who are you?"**_

_**"I'm your father! Yuu-kun, what happened!?"**_

_**.**_

Was that the reason to his lost of memories?

.

.

.

.

.

"Put up a notice."

"Sir?"

"I have a feeling that Neah's here, in this town."

"Sir, we are looking for Allen Walker, aren't we?"

"If Neah's here, then Allen's here. They're brothers, they can't be separated."

His eyes harden as his mind registered Leverrier's words.

If only that bastard did not kidnapped Neah Walker away from the facility...

If only Neah Walker turned into Allen Walker's replacement for Leverrier...

He gritted his teeth.

_This is all your fault, Mana!_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_~The Past~_

It seems like the news about Allen Walker's death shocked Leverrier to the point of insanity.

Leverrier had refused to accept the truth and shot down those that tried to tell him the truth.

Allen Walker was dead.

But Leverrier insisted that he was alive. Neah Walker was the one dead, he said.

Leverrier ended up capturing children in the neighborhood and conduct experiments on them.

_"Allen is playing hide-and-seek with me. He must be hiding himself among these children."_

In the end, Neah Walker was the only survival.

Neah Walker was his only hope for Leverrier to recover from insanity.

Leverrier seemed to be getting well from his insanity when the scientist managed to make Neah Walker acted like his brother, Allen Walker.

He watched from behind, Leverrier's affection towards "Allen Walker".

He could feel his heart shattered into tiny pieces.

He wanted to be in Allen Walker's place.

But he could not.

Allen Walker was the only one in Leverrier's eyes.

Despite being heart-broken, he still stood by Leverrier's side.

One day, the scientist manage to make Neah looked like Allen.

Leverrier was so happy.

He was happy for Leverrier too.

Leverrier was recovering as well. He was turning back to his real self.

He thought that everything was settled then.

They managed to let Leverrier recover just by sacrificing Allen Walker's brother, Neah Walker.

He thought everything will be over then.

He thought that Leverrier will finally realize how much he had done for him.

_Finally, he'll notice me._

But everything was ruined on that fateful evening.

That bastard kidnapped Neah Walker from the facility!

Leverrier was back to square one that evening.

No, he became _worst_.

Leverrier somehow convinced himself that Neah Walker was alive and that Neah Walker had brought Allen away. Away from him.

Leverrier was turning mad. Everyone suggested to send him into the asylum, but he had killed them as soon those words escaped from their mouth.

How dare they?

How dare they say Leverrier is mentally ill?!

One by one, he killed those that tried to leave Leverrier's side.

Soon, he was the only one left.

He thought that Leverrier would _perhaps _look at him, seeing that he was the only one by his side now.

But he never spare a glance at him.

Leverrier never noticed everything he did for him.

The expression he wore on his face every time Leverrier walked pass him without looking at him.

The way he tried to hint the oh-so-oblivious Leverrier that he was actually a better choice than Allen walker.

Leverrier never noticed.

He never.

Perhaps killing Allen in the past was a mistake?

Was this his punishment?

_Notice me already, Leverrier!_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

**_TBC_**

* * *

_**A/N : A sick romance between Leverrier and someone. Any guess who's that? XD So who do you want it to be? Anyway, my updates might get slower and slower due to my studies... so yeah, I can promise that I'll update every week or something. But I can ensure you guys that I will update at least one chapter, at least one chapter every month time. I'll try to update as fast as I can, but no promises. Hope you guys can bear with this.**_

_**Reviews**_

_**iulianag71 : It's okay, you're not late ^^**_

_**farryss : Aaaaaaa, gomen! Hope you'll enjoy this chapter**_

_**abattles2 : You're welcome :D**_

_** DiavolSange : Oh yes, a new development XD enjoy yourself~  
**_

_**CloudCarnivore : Thanks! And yes, it's Yullen, But consists of some Yulma as well.**_

_**Firediva0 : Here's the new chapter for you~**_

_**Akkira Nala : Thanks a lot~! **_

_**Ern Estine 13624 : Thanks for reviewing.**_

_**. **_

_**R&R **_

_**UnheardSalvation**_


	9. Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer : I don't own -Man**_

_**.**_

* * *

_**.**_

_**Chapter 8**_

_**.**_

_~The Past~ _

The wind was here again.

Neah peeked through the window. His innocent hazel eyes observing every motion of the trees outside. Every time leaves fell off the trees, he would faked a gasp and giggle to himself.

"Neah, what are you doing here?" Allen asked as he looked out of the window as well, trying to see what had attract Neah's attention.

"Allen! Look, Mr Wind is here again! Ah, another leaf fell..." Almost immediately, Neah turned to face his brother on his left, a large smile painted on his face.

Smiling to Neah, Allen patted Neah's head gently.

"Mom and dad said not to get too near to the window. You'll catch a cold."

"B-But Mr Wind is out there!"

"There, there, big brother will play with you?"

Allen Walker, age 6, was the eldest son of the Walker family. It was always Allen who took care Neah when their parents were busy working. Which was, most of the time.

Not that Neah mind.

Not at all.

In fact, he loved it! He enjoyed having Allen as his brother.

But his parents never like it when they see him being close to Allen.

His father always hated Allen, he could not understand why. His mother used to love Allen, but the love vanished one day. It just disappear like that, not any residue of the love could be found. He had once heard a fight between his parents about Allen. His mother was accused of having an affair with some other man.

Neah knew it was not true. One of the maid had told him that his brother's case was... slightly different from other children. Something about albinism or something. He could not quite understand what was the maid talking about. Perhaps he was too young to understand it?

Allen, despite being the best Walker in the family, was well hated by his parents. Their parents would pampered Neah to the max, while Allen would receive nothing but the stares of hatred from the parents.

His mother, who used to be so protective of Allen, sided his father after that fight. She no longer look at Allen in the eyes. She treated him like a trash, a _slave._

Neah was asked by his parents to hate Allen as well.

He like Allen.

He really like him.

Allen was the best brother Neah could ask for.

Every time Allen was scolded, Neah would stay by his side for the whole night, just in case Allen needed a shoulder to cry on. He would curled himself up beside Allen in the bed and hugged him tight, his small hands were never able to hugged Allen completly, but he still tried his best to hug his brother tight.

He was only 5 years old.

Yet, he knew how to handle Allen's emotions well, just like how well Allen handled his.

"Can I go out and play? Please?" Applying his cutest puppy eyes that even his parents could not help but give in every time he used them, he plead.

"... Just this once."

.

.

.

.

.

Neah ran towards the head winds, enjoying the feeling of the wind caressing his face. His short brown hair was blown to the back, floating freely in the air.

Signaling his brother to come closer, he grinned. When he figure that Allen was close enough, he pulled Allen down with him into the mountain of leaves beside him.

"Neah!"

"Leaf attack, Allen!"

Neah started laughing when he saw Allen was covered in leaves everywhere. Slightly pissed at his brother's action, Allen breathed in deeply. He slowly crept near Neah.

_Almost there... Now!_

He tickled Neah at his weak spot and Neah ended up screaming in his laugh.

"S-stop-Hahaha! Allen!"

"It's pay back, Neah!"

They ended up pushing each other down into the leaves, laughing as they did so. They did not realize the passing of time, they kept playing until they heard a voice beside them.

"C-children should go back now. Its dangerous."

Allen turned his head to face the new voice. It was a boy who looked elder than both of them. Maybe 12 years older than Allen?

"Who are you?" Allen asked.

The boy's blush deepen when he looked at Allen.

Neah saw everything, but he brush it off as a hallucination back then.

"I'm... Malcom Leverrier."

Oh, how he wished they never met the boy back then.

.

.

.

.

.

_~Present_

"What were you truly afraid of?"

Tyki stared at Allen carefully, observing his reaction, carefully as to not missing anything. He knew that Allen was afraid of something. He wanted to know _what _was it.

He wanted to help Allen.

Allen had trusted him to the point Allen had told him what truly happened in his past. For that, he was grateful. He was happy that Allen trusted him enough to tell him his past.

But he himself is not enough to save Allen from danger.

He was so happy when Allen told him that he getting married (forced to) three years ago. He thought that Allen had finally found someone who he can trust aside from Tyki. But after meeting his family, he knew that it was not the case.

Allen had not open up completely to anyone besides him.

His plan was actually to tell Allen's family about Allen's past and asking them to protect Allen from any danger when he was not there by Allen's side. That was the main reason he went to Kanda in the first place.

Well, he certainly never thought that Kanda would have a lover when he was already with Allen.

He followed them, trying to figure out what was actually happening to Allen's marriage.

_"Leverrier is here, in this town."_

He knew that he had to do something quick when he received that message. But Kanda Yuu seems to be out of the situation. He knew nothing. _Nothing _at all the current situation Allen was in.

He finally pay a visit to Allen in his family. He had expected Kanda Yuu to ask him things about Allen, seeing that he had declare that he knew Allen since young. But no, he did not.

Kanda Yuu just kept quiet all the while his lover were drowning Tyki in his saliva.

_Ask, damn it! I'm here for a reason, Kanda Yuu!_

.

_**"Do you know what happened to him in the past?" **_

Oh, of course he knew. But why was it Alma the one who asked?! Who was Allen's husband/wife?! Kanda Yuu or Alma?!

In the end, Kanda Yuu asked nothing of Allen.

Disappointed, he left the house.

.

_**"I'm going back home now, Allen. Nice meeting your lovely family."**_

.

Picking up the fallen marbles on the floor, he handed them to Allen, who was still trembling slightly from his question.

Was Allen trying not to let Kanda or Alma to be involved with Leverrier?

Sighing, he calmed Allen down by giving him a hug.

"Allen... Tell me, do you trust Kanda Yuu?"

He just need to make sure one thing now.

"...Yes. But I don't want anything to happen to them."

"So you ran away? In fear that Leverrier _might_ went to the house and ask for you?"

Allen only nodded.

"You were afraid that they will not accept you if they know you are... different from the others?"

Another nod was recieved.

"If they accept you for who you are, you'll return to them?"

"... It's impossible, Tyki. After all," Allen slowly pulled himself away from Tyki's embrace.

"Who would accept a human that lost his appearance and personality to the point he was using his brother's name to live on?"

"I did."

"You were different."

"Mana did."

"He was different too."

"Your family will accept you. Trust me." Despite his disappointment in Kanda, he knew that Allen's family have the ability to protect Allen.

"They won't."

"If you never open up yourself to them, how will they?"

"..."

"I'll give them a call, saying that you're returning tomorrow?"

"..."

"I'm taking that as a yes. And you should tell them your past. Alma seems curious about it."

"... I will try."

The older male smiled as he scrolled through his contact number. It was then he read the message he received a while ago.

"Or not. You are not going back, Allen."

Before Allen could say anything, Tyki interrupted.

"Leverrier went to your house. He even put up a notice to find you."

Annoyed, Tyki stomped out of Allen's room.

_Damn it, Allen was willing to go back too!_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

"What... in the world is this?"

.

_Name : Neah Walker_

_If found, please contact 012-xxxxxxx, Malcom Leverrier._

_._

"Allen is... Neah?"

To say that Kanda was shock would be an understatement, considering that the person he was searching for was just beside him all along. _So that was why Allen looked familiar. _

But what happened?

Neah had brown hair and hazel eyes ; Allen's was silver.

Silver hair, silver eyes. Allen fits all the description of Neah's brother.

If Allen was Neah's brother, and now that Allen is Neah,

Who's Allen? Who's Neah?

Who was the one that never existed in the first place?

Was it Allen? Or was it Neah?

_No, Neah was with me when he was young! Neah must be real!_

However, if Allen Walker's a fake, then who was Neah talking about when he mentioned his brother? Who was the one that brighten up Neah's day before he was captured by Leverrier? Who was Neah's light before him?

And who was... The Allen Walker that was engaged to him?

.

_**"Yuu, let me tell you something. I had a brother. He had the most beautiful silver-colored hair and eyes!"**_

_**"Hey, do you know, Allen's the best brother I ever had. He was the best... The best one."  
**_

_**.**_

He did not realize back then. Neah would always wear sad expression on his face when he mentioned Allen.

.

_**"I'm sure Yuu would get along with Allen. If you guys would meet each other in the future, of course."**_

_**.**_

Why had Neah sounded so despair when he said so?

It was almost as if...

_He knew that would never happen._

_._

Why didn't Allen tell them anything?

Why didn't Allen tell _him _anything?

The raven-haired male punched the wall beside him in anger.

"Yuu-kun!"

"Yuu!"

_You better come back and explain everything, moyashi._

He was forced to marry Allen Walker because Tiedoll was being too annoying. So when did he start caring for that beansprout?

When was it, did he start assuming that Allen should tell him everything?

And why, oh why, was his heart squishing in such agonizing way...

...

...

...

..

.

When he knew Allen was hiding something from him?

.

.

.

.

.

_**TBC**_

* * *

_**A/N : I guess it's time to cut...? And~ I'm not gonna tell who's the one loving Leverrier yet XD ( But why is everyone guessing Link? Poor Link...) (haven't think of who as the most suitable person as Leverrier's *ahem*lover*cough*) I guess this is most probably the longest chapter I wrote for this fic. It would be even longer if my phone was with me. The draft of this chapter was all in there. I wrote this according to what i remember was in the draft. Pardon my forgetfulness... (main reason why she need to write down EVERY SINGLE DAMN IDEA down all the time). So yeah... My phone had some problem and its currently not with me QAQ Hope you guys would enjoy this too~! I just realize that this fic does not contain much romance even though it's suppose to be a bittersweet (mostly bitter) romance story... Not the sappy kind, no worries~ **_

_**Now for something not so related (those uninterested can skip this and the following paragraph ^^) The fourth book of "The Flower Of Animosity - Facing The Truth" will be out in 15/7 in Taiwan~~~~ I was so happy I literally screamed in my room. (BUT WHEN WILL IT ARRIVE MALAYSIA?!) Here's a short summary, just in case anyone interested :P And here's a link with a more complete summary: lucathia - rykatu . livejournal 210150 . html ? thread = 4145382 (remove space) **_

**Summary : The Tree signaled the others with a sad cry of its approaching death. Not one of the leaves below it is without grief. Yet before the Tree withered away, it gives birth to a Flower, a Flower that is responsible for protecting the Leaves. Facing their own most powerful protector, The Leaves panicked… A guardian Flower who has lost its tree…can easily become insane.**

**"We cannot keep him, definitely not."**

**The guardian who was abandoned by his own people… was then picked up by humans. The Humans gave him a name ––– Gong Hua. A gentle human taught him love. The deaths of his loved ones taught him hate. Although Gong Hua just began to understand the world, the first thing he finds himself wanting is…**

**Revenge**

**Yet at the same time, he realizes, he himself is a target for revenge as well.**

_**I even dreamed that I had the book in my hand. Just when I wanted to start reading it, my alarm clock rang.**_

_**...**_

_**... I hate you, dear alarm clock.  
**_

_**Reviews  
**_

_**Guest : Thanks! ^0^**_

_**Lucylyles : Sankyuu~!**_

_**CrescentMoonTenshi : XD I wonder why.**_

_**iulianag71 : I hope this chapter clears things up for you~ ^^**_

_**Ern Estine 13624 : Thanks for reviewing~**_

_**Akkira Nala : Here you go~**_

_**CloudCarnivore : Sankyuu~**_

_**Firediva0 : Thanks a lot~**_

_**.**_

_**R&R**_


	10. Chapter 9

_**Disclaimer : I don't own -Man**_

_**.**_

* * *

.

_**Chapter 9**_

_**.**_

_~The Past~_

"Allen, I like you. Please go out with me!"

_I really hate this guy._

Pulling his brother's hand, Neah pulled Allen away from the boy. Allen, who was still dumb shock with what just happened, just followed his brother silently.

Neah was beyond pissed.

Who does that boy think he is?! Blushing every time he saw Allen, shuttering every time he talked to Allen, looking _dreamily _at Allen _all the time- _Neah always have the urge to punch the boy in the face every time they meet _unexpectedly_ in the park.

_**"Oh, what a coincidence. We meet again."**_

What kind of bullshit was that?! It was damn obvious that this _Malcom Leverrier _stalked them enough to know when Neah and Allen would go to the park and play!

"Wait, Allen! Listen to me- Allen!"

"Ignore him, Allen." Neah gripped harder on Allen's hand, waking Allen up from his dumb-shocked state.

Leverrier's shout was slowly getting softer and softer before fading away in the air.

"Neah, did he just..."

"I said, _ignore him. _He's bad news."

"I know... But..."

By then, Allen had stopped his own tracks, forcing Neah to come to a stop as well.

"But what?"

"...I have bad feeling about this, Neah."

"You want to accept that _bastard's _feeling?!"

"No! I don't like him that way!"

Neah breathed in relief, his grip relaxing.

"It's just that... I feel that something bad will happen if we just leave him behind like that..."

"And I _always_ have a bad feeling every time he approach us."

Allen raised his left eyebrow, staring at Neah with a knowing look.

"You're... jealous all this while, aren't you?"

"No I'm not!"

Chuckling at his brother's response, Allen patted Neah.

"Sure you're not."

"I'm _not_."

"Yes yes, you're the best brother ever and I will never leave you for anyone. Happy?"

"...Yes."

It was a soft mumble, but Allen could hear it.

Smilling at his brother once again, he reached his hand out to Neah,

"Come on, let's go home."

.

.

.

.

.

"..."

"..."

They both looked at each other with poker face.

"So... Any idea what is this suppose to be?" Allen was the first to break the silence.

"... No." Neah looked down at the sticky note on Allen's hand once again. He squinted his eyes to get a clearly image of what it was on the note.

_It's probably just me and my bad eye sight._

Both of them had rubbed their eyes and even slapped each other in the face just to see if the note was just an illusion of theirs. Both of them rubbed their red cheek with a bag of ice, eyes never breaking contact with the note.

"A prank? Maybe..." Neah suggested.

"I don't really understand what the note was trying to tell us, actually."

Their eyes meet once again, the Walkers let out a sigh together.

The note was left on the table.

_"Allen Walker, you better watch out."_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_"Get away from him, you sickening freak."_

_"You should just die."_

_"One more step closer to him and I'll kill you. I'm serious."_

The notes were everywhere. It seems like the one who sent the notes went to the same school as them, seeing that the notes could be found under Allen's locker as well.

Or maybe it was a stalker.

Even when Allen threw the notes away in the trash, another note would appear on his desk.

_"Do you think you can escape from me, Walker?"_

_"Just disappear, no one loves you. Even your brother."_

Allen had hidden all those letters from Neah, fearing that the letters would make Neah worry about him. However, the longer he keep them, the longer he feel insecure.

Was Neah feeling what this stalker felt? Did Neah ever thought of him as a freak? Did Neah ever wished for his death?

He was always rejected by everyone around him, even his parents. He've done nothing wrong, but everyone would just put the blame on him when something went wrong. He done his best to be the successor of the Walkers, but his parents never praise him for it, in fact, he would be the main reason for everything bad.

_The books were missing, Allen must have stolen it._

_The stove's not working, Allen must have spoiled it._

_Neah's hurt, Allen must have beat him._

His parents knew it well, they knew that Allen would _never _hurt Neah.

They knew,

Yet they still blame him for everything.

_**"Allen would never do such thing!"**_

Neah was the only one that stood by his side every time their parents scolded him.

Neah was the only one that accept him in his life.

Neah was the only one that treated him like a human.

But who was he to Neah?

Had Neah ever hated him for being his brother? His silvered color hair and eyes... Everyone hated it.

Did Neah ever felt disgusted with it?

**_"Just disappear, no one loves you. Even your brother."_**

He was so scared.

He was afraid that Neah would hate him one day, and leave him behind to face the cruel world.

.

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"I warned you."

How had this happened?

The cold knife was buried deeper into his stomach as the attacker applied more force to it. Allen could do nothing but to scream in pain. Both of his hands were placed on his attacker, attempting to push the attacker away from him, but it was all in vain.

He was too weak, compared to the attacker.

"I warned you not to get near Leverrier."

It was then everything clicked.

"So it was you..."

His attacker grinned at him,

"Finally figure out?"

"I never thought you'd-"

"Allen!"

Allen looked to the side, panicked. _Why is Neah here? _

"You, What are you doing to Allen?!" Neah was screaming at the attacker.

_No, get away from him, he'll kill you!_

Allen saw his attacker raising the silver metal and stabbed it towards Neah.

_No!_

"RUN NEAH!"

It all happened in a split second.

He had pushed Neah to the ground, but Neah was all red.

Did he not make it in time?

Neah was staring at him with a disbelieved look.

.

**_"Just disappear, no one loves you. Even your brother."_**

.

Was Neah blaming him for not saving him in time?

How can he _not_ make it in time?

He was so close to Neah, he should have made it in time!

He should have-

"I'm sorry, Neah."

Everything went black.

.

.

.

.

.

"Ha... Hahahaha! Now Leverrier will look at me!"

He could hear the sickening laughter of the attacker beside him.

Why was the attacker laughing?

Allen was still lying on top of him, he could feel Allen's blood soaking his clothes wet. His face was full with blood, but it was not his.

It was Allen's.

Allen had shield him from the attack.

_"I'm sorry, Neah."_

Why was Allen apologizing to him?

Why did Allen looked so broken at his last moment?

Books fell to the floor heavily, Neah could hear someone else standing behind him. He looked around for the attacker, but there was no sign of the attacker.

"...Allen?" It was Leverrier.

"Don't call him!" Neah hissed at him, sitting up and pulled Allen's corpse close to his own body. Allen's body was getting colder, but Neah argued to himself,

_Allen is just feeling cold, as long as I give him some warmth, he'll wake up._

"What did you do to Allen?"

_Allen'll wake up... He will wake up..._

"What did you do to him?!"

_He will._

"Neah Walker, what had you done to your own brother?!"

_Wake up, just wake up. _

_Don't leave me like this._

"NEAH WALKER YOU MURDERER!"

.

_**"Ha... Hahahaha! Now Leverrier will look at me!"**_

_**.**_

He glared at Leverrier hard, if looks could kill, Leverrier would be dead then.

_Allen's dead... because of this bastard?_

_This good for nothing bastard?_

"... Who's the real murderer I wonder?"

Tears streamed down his cheeks.

Who indeed?

The attacker that attacked Allen, or Leverrier?

If Leverrier never exist, Allen would not be killed.

So who's at fault?

"YOU, MALCOM LEVERRIER ARE THE REAL MURDERER!"

.

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_~Present~_

"... I need to go back."

"Back to where?"

"Kanda's."

Grabbing Allen's wrist hard, Tyki pulled Allen back into his room.

"You're not thinking straight."

"I am, Tyki. Now let go of me."

"Leverrier will be there, it's too dangerous."

"Kanda's there!"

"But they know _nothing_!"

Shocked at Tyki's tone, Allen stared at him with wide eyes.

"They know nothing, Allen. They can't protect you from that bastard."

Allen could not argue with that, but his sixth sense was asking him to get back to Kanda.

He wanted to go back.

Tyki was right. If he never open up to Kanda, how will he understand his situation? And Alma, that guy had tried to be friendly to him, even after seeing his hair and eyes color. Tiedoll too, everyone was treating him well back there. Not to say that Tyki was bad, but he could literally picture out how worried they will be now that he left the house. To make it worst, some random stranger suddenly went to the door, asking for his presence, how worried will they be?

He wanted to tell them everything.

About Allen, about Neah.

He wanted to tell them the full story of what happened in the past.

There are chances that they might hate him or even feel disgusted with him after knowing everything, but at least he tried, right?

"... I want to try, Tyki."

"No. And that's that."

"I want them to know the truth."

"Allen-"

"Please, Tyki Mikk."

"... Promise me you'll feel no regrets about this."

"No regrets."

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_**TBC**_

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_**A/N : Neah and Allen are brothers and both of them does exist in the past. This chapter speaks more on how Allen died in the past. Allen was the personality the scientist tried to make Neah into. Say, I just realize something... The flow of the story seems... stuck... Damn. Guess, I'll try to cut down the amount of what happened in the past events for the future chapters. At least until the present is not stuck over there... I will try... **_

_**BTW, why does everyone assuming Link as the one who was in love in Leverrier? Just curious. (Asked some other friends in school who will they pair Leverrier with, "Link... I guess?" was the answer I got) Not like I can imagine Leverrier with anyone... ^^lll **_

_**Sorry about the late update **_

_**REVIEWS**_

_**iulianag71 : So here you go~**_

_**Firediva0 : Glad you enjoy this fic~~ Well, actually Allen is the one Neah was forced to become, not the other way around. The experiments started after Allen's death actually (not sure if I had mentioned it before...) Neah was one of the child that was forced to turned into Allen for Leverrier and he was the most succesful one among all.**_

_**Ern Estine 13624 : Thanks for reviewing~**_

_**CloudCarnivore : Sankyuu~~ Enjoy it~**_

_**.**_

_**R&R**_

_**UnheardSalvation**_


	11. Chapter 10

_**Recap of the past :**_

_**The Walker family has two son - Neah and Allen. **_

_**Allen was dislike by others due to his special appearance. When Leverrier confess to Allen, Leverrier's admirer (I'm not telling who that is yet XD ) got mad and killed Allen, just like what happen in this chapter. Neah was later captured as one of the child to be experiment to heal Leverrier. Since they are both brothers, Neah turned out to be the best among all. Slowly, due to all the experiments on him, Neah lost his real personality as he was forces to act like Allen all the time. After Mana saved him, he found out that he no longer know how to act like Neah Walker anymore. He soon choose to live on using Allen's name even though he's actually Neah. **_

_**So, the current Allen Walker can be consider the same person as Neah Walker. Some may say that Neah's the main character, but for me Allen is still the main character cause the one I'm focusing on, is the current Allen (who used to be Neah. But that's in the past) and how is he going to face the problems from his past.**_

_**Disclaimer : I don't own -Man**_

_**.**_

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_**Chapter 10**_

_**.**_

He stood in front of the house silently, eyes flowing with so many emotions as he stared at the doorbell. His trembling finger positioning at the doorbell, hesitating.

He made up his mind, didn't he?

So why couldn't he just press the damn thing?!

Sensing Allen's frustration, Tyki pressed the doorbell from behind Allen.

_Ding Dong._

"Tyki!"

"Don't look at me like that. You were taking too long."

"But... But...!"

Allen could not help but to play with his own fingers, subconsciously trying to lessen the nervousness in him.

"It was your own idea to come back here, Allen."

"I know."

"Are you only regretting this now...?"

"No!"

Tyki raised his eyebrow, conveying the message : _Oh, really?_

"... I'm just... not sure how to face them now..."

_"_ You just need to speak the truth."

"It's not that easy, Ty- What are you doing?"

"...It was not me who spoke." Tyki answered with both his hands raised up slightly, the sentence "I'm innocent" was all written on his face.

"..."

"Care to speak the truth now, moyashi?"

Maybe he was digging his own grave by coming back here. Maybe he was really not thinking straight... But seriously, Kanda sounded really pissed off.

"I erm..." He glanced side way to a certain Portuguese male. _A __little help here?_

With his hands still up, Tyki blinked several time in respond. _I'm not digging my own grave. Unlike a certain British boy here._

He could only glare at said male in respond.

"_Well?_" Kanda's cold tone send shivers down his spine. Who knew Kanda would be this mad?!

"Allen! You're finally back! We were so worried about you!" Alma, not realizing the tense atmosphere, flung himself onto Allen, crushing the other male with his tight hug.

Allen slowly raised his lowered head, eyes scanning through everyone present. Tyki was still acting innocent on his left, Alma in tears as he crushed Allen with his largest strength and Kanda was staring at him-

Wait, staring at him?

And was that worry he saw in Kanda's eyes?

_He really does care._

Somehow, he felt warm in his heart, a smile was threatening to escaped his lips.

"A-Allen? Ah, no one's angry with you! Don't cry!"

He could see Tyki looking at him in surprise before smiling at him and Alma were blaming for his mean attitude.

Tears flowing down his cheeks, but no sign of sadness could be found. The smile finally manage to make its way through his face.

He was smiling, and yet he was crying.

But when was the last time he cried in such happiness? Was it when Mana saved him back then?

_I'll take back my words. It was a wise choice coming back here._

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"Leverrier?"

Link stood by the door, kicking the door softly to signal the owner of the room about his arrival. He would usually knock instead of kicking the door, but it was different for today. He had managed to get the rare ingredients to make Leverrier's favorite cake. And so here he was, hands full with cakes, a bright smile on his face.

"Leverrier?" He asked once again, seeing that no reply was returned to him.

"... Excuse me then." Applying more force to his feet, he slowly pushed the door open, head peeking inside the room. He saw Leverrier sleeping on the desk. Smiling to himself, he set the cakes down on the table near the bed before walked towards Leverrier. He slowly placed his hand palm on Leverrier's head and feel the smoothness of the hair on his fingers. It was just a simply gesture, but it was more than enough to make Link happy. He heard Leverrier mumbling something under his breath. As curiosity got the better side of him, he placed his ear near Leverrier's mouth.

"...Allen..."

That was all it took to drag Link down from heaven to hell. His hand froze, eyes widening in disbelieved. _Even after so long, he only... looks at Walker? _What's so good about that failed experimental subject?! He felt his heart squeezing in such pain, but there was nothing he could do about it.

"...Allen...Come back..."

Why...?

Why won't you look at me?!

Why not me?!

Am I... not good enough for you?

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_**TBC**_

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_**A/N : I'm so sorry for this short chapter! I know there are still people who was waiting for this update, so I tried my best to write this chapter, but it seems like my writing skills are fading as well... *drawing circles in the corner* I hope this chapter at least continue the flow of the story... I hope...**_

_**Once again, I'm really sorry for this short chapter and the late update.**_

_**Reviews :**_

_**Akkira Nala : Its Link actually XD But I wanna know who else is on everyone's mind when they know Leverrier has a secret admirer.**_

_**Ern Estine 13624 : Thanks for reviewing!**_

_**iulianag71 : Glad you like it~**_

_**CloudCarnivore : Neah's is his real self, but he is currently living as Allen**_

_**sylversylvan : lol I see I see XD**_

_**DiavolSange : Here's a new chapter for you**_

_**FireDiva0 : Hope you'll enjoy this chapter as well~**_

_**Akiraki : Oh I see. Thanks for the compliment~!**_

_**.**_

_**R&R**_

_**UnheardSalvation**_


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